Lessons Learned

Well, that was 9 days of a lot of lessons learned.

Food.  We take food for granted in the United States.  When we go to Guatemala we are spoiled.  We have fruits, veggies, and American style food, while combined with the Central American flavors.  In Belize, we had fryjacks for breakfast (which I cannot eat because they are batter fried in grease and minus a gallbladder wouldnt be good), rice/red beans/small scoop of chicken for lunch, and tortillas and refried beans or cheese for dinner, every single day.  These poor kids have to live on this and have no variety of food.  I was explaining to them a typical day of food for me and their mouths were watering.

Water.  We also take water for granted.  I had to walk to get water because we need to drink purified water there so we do not get sick.  In 100+ degree weather, trying to carry those jugs down the road is quite a task.  I do not know how people in Africa walk miles upon miles with the water on their heads.  I give people so much credit for doing as much work as they do to get their basic needs.  We also have the luxury of bathing in clean water.  Their water comes straight from god knows where.  It is so dry and stinks....

Sanitation.  When they go to the bathroom and flush the toilet, it drains in a pipe into the trench on the side of the road.  Talk about a smell when you are trying to walk on the side of the road....Then the toilet kept breaking and I had to google how to fix a toilet in the middle of the night so I could go to the bathroom.  (dont even suggest going outside, because I would have had big bug bite problems then)

Bugs.  While I have no fear of bugs here, I had a fear of bugs there.  They were everywhere.  They literally ate me alive.

Sleeping.  We are so blessed to have a comfortable bed with no bugs in it to sleep in.  Every night the bugs would eat me alive because the screens on my windows didnt match up, or they crawl in.  It was 90+ degrees in my room every night and I am one who cannot sleep when they are hot.  I would have to drug myself to even get 2-3 hours of sleep a night.

Support.  When you are in a country where you know NOONE and are alone with negatives up against you, it sucks.  There is no nice way to put it.  Thank god they had wi-fi and I could stay in contact back home.  There were a few people who really got me through one of the hardest times of my life.  I truly feel bad for those people who have zero support in their lives.  I dont know how they do it.

Police.  While people complain about our police in the United States, at least they care.  The police in Belize will turn their eye if they dont want to deal with something.  This is why so many people get raped and hurt there.  The police were downright nasty to me when I asked for help with directions.

Belongings.  The children had no sense of working for your belongings.  I had on a cheap $5.00 watch and many of them kept asking for it.  I explained multiple times I needed it to know what time it was and that I worked for my money to buy it, we dont just give things to everyone.  Anything that I ever had they just wanted.  I was brought up that you have to work for what you get.  These children get a lot of handouts from the groups that come it and that does not teach them anything but greed.  It was very apparent my morning that I left.  They were swarming me asking for everything and anything I had.  In Guatemala, the kids would never ask you for anything.

Manners.  Are not taught.  I brought out snacks one day for the kids and 1 of the 46 said thank you.  If they want something from someone they just rip it out of their hands or shove them to the ground.  They never say please or thank you (well maybe 5 out of the 46 do) and they always tell you what to do.  Many of the younger kids are bullied by the high schoolers.  They make the younger kids do everything for them and still talk down to them and that is not right.  I truly feel bad for some of them.  They will grow up never knowing how to stand up for themselves.

Be smart.  Everyone kept lecturing me on my safety and to be smart.  I have a smart head on my shoulders and know when a situation is bad for me.  I never went out after dark, because I didnt know my way or the people.  I didnt wander around trying to find anything, I only went where I knew I was comfortable going.

In all, this trip was a learning experience.  While I did not get to spend the 16 days there I thought I would, it all happened for a reason.  For once in my life, instead of trying to stick something out I realized it was failing and made the decision to come home.  In my past I would have never done that, and tried to stick it out.  Now that I am 30 and more grown up with life experiences, I know when my limits are being pushed.  I know I have physical health limitations and I cannot risk them in a country with limited medical attention.  I know I have a support system of family and friends at home that I can always call on and I am so thankful for that.  I know my mission trip days are done.  While I know Guatemala is safe, I have also come home sick from there twice.  I need to focus on my life and achieving some of the goals I really want to achieve instead of focusing so much on those in underdeveloped countries.  I can still help by donating money to the teams that are going twice a year from Michigan to Guatemala.  I can get involved in helping with adoption agencies.  I can make a difference, and I will!

Day 9. Im outta here!

Its day 9 and I am bustin outta here!  I have never been more relaxed and happy to be going home in my life.  Usually on vacation or my trips to Guatemala, I dont wanna come home.  I am going to the airport an extra hour early because I need somewhere with food and no bugs.

I spent most of the morning in the daycare talking with Miss Julia and Miss Elisa.  Miss Elisa didnt want me to leave and kept asking when I would be back.  I felt bad leaving the kids.  Jaylan was super sick and all he wanted was to lay on me and play with my hair.  When I had to put him down to leave he cried so hard I could hear him across the compound.  Some of the kids were sad I was leaving, and some of them were probably excited (since I made them listen and behave and wouldnt give them my things).  Obama and Sarah just held onto me and told me I couldnt leave unless I was taking them with me.

Got to the airport 3 hours before departure, got a few gifts, and made my way to security.  The first lady rudely told me I needed an immigration form.  That would have been nice to know so I could have had it ready...back to the ticket area I go.  Fill it out, and customs doesnt even ask a question and lets me through.  Get to security and tell them I have to walk around and cant go through the metal detector because I have an implantable heart device and they tell me they dont care.  I show them my medical card stating I cant go through and they still dont care, they want a doctors note.  I explain Ive never had a doctors note, thats what the medtronic card is for and they still refuse.  I asked for a supervisor and when she came out she was just as rude until I pulled up the US embassy number in my phone.  They finally let me through, but not without a very hands on frisking when I was wearing a t shirt dress and sandals.  You could clearly see I was not hiding a thing.  I got out of there and sat down and just cried.  At such a time of happiness ready to go home, they had to cause so much anxiety and make me feel even more horrible that I have a heart issue at 30 years old.  Some lady came over and assured me we would be getting back in America soon and to take a deep breath.  I went and got some rainbow chip cookies and ritz with cheese and devoured them.  American food never tasted so good.

About 20 minutes after we were supposed to board they came on the speaker and said we were on lockdown because of lightening.  So we sat and waited.  I started to get really anxious that I would miss my flight in Atlanta because I had just under 2 hours to make it.  We got on and made up 15 minutes in the air.  The flight attendant was amazing.  Our plane at one point was sideways, dropping, shaking to get through the rain from Hurricane Harvey and he just kept topping off my wine and assuring me we would get to Atlanta safely after that.

Got to Atlanta and made it through real quick and then the agent came on and said our flight attendants were running late coming in from Cincy so we had to wait for them.  Finally made it home after 12.5 hours of traveling and I was never more excited to get in my shower and sleep in my bed!

Day 8. What an amazing day!

Day 8.  What an amazing day!

Got up bright and early to catch the bus into town.  I got halfway to the bus (about half a mile) and realized I forgot my go pro.  These buses are quite the treat….they are buses that are unsafe to be in America, and by unsafe I mean they are literally falling apart.  They then ship them down here to use, and they use them until they run dead.  Ours broke down half way there, so then I had anxiety about making my excursion on time.  Finally got on a new one and got to the bus stop, and there were no taxis.  So I remembered how the taxis would take me and I walked.  I encountered a lot of homeless people, but as long as I looked them in the eyes and said hello they didn’t bother me. 

Got on the bus and the tour guides were awesome!!  I was the only one doing the zipline, and they were amazing!!! Two of them I didn’t make it down because I didn’t weigh enough and had to climb down the line.  Then we started the cave kayaking.  It was a one on one tour because the other people cancelled and it was so amazing.  Fabulous took me into an extra cave system because we were kayaking, and it was so cool.  We got to see so much more than those cave tubing because we could navigate into the systems.   During the middle of kayaking it began to rain and then we went to a waterfall.  This was the cleanest I have felt in a week.  The water was so fresh. 

We took the bus ride back to the cruise terminal and I got a visitor pass to go in and shop.  I guess I wasn’t supposed to buy anything because I got caught and interrogated by customs.  They finally let me go with the four things I bought because they learned all about me and thought that what I do is a great thing.  Thank god for being a good citizen.  He even gave me his cell phone number and name in case I needed help here. 

I got back to the orphanage and went to the daycare.  The little kids and I had a ball.  I got to wake them all up from their naps and they were so excited to see me.  It was so cute.  After they woke up, we read like 10 books, the same 10 that we have read all week, but they still love it. 

After I went and sat with Keisha who is my favorite girl.  We played with snapchat filters and talked for awile.  I love this girl.  She turned 11 the day before I got here.  Her family is from the states but she was born here in Belize.  I don’t know much more about her story, but she gets bullied and teased a lot here. 

Then Obama came over and told me I was the bestest and he never wanted me to go.  I promised him if there is a way I can adopt him and bring him to the states that I surely would.  He is such a pleasant polite young man. 

I had 1:1 time with the kids I like the most and who have respected me being here.  It was a great evening but I am ready to come home.

You don’t realize that when you are so far away from your comfort zone, completely alone, with no local support, how vulnerable you can be.  This trip has tested my strength.

Day 7. The end is near!

Day 7.  The end is near!

Well, I only got up 3 times last night instead of 5-6.  I had a hard time falling asleep last night even after taking a Xanax (thank god I asked my doctor for some in case of an emergency) and a melatonin.  I read for awile and then decided to just play some Christian music and I finally fell asleep.  I woke up at 2 am really itchy so I had to get up, reapply my regimen and re-light some mosquito coils (they let off a smelly smoke the mosquitoes don’t like).

I started off the day in the daycare as always hanging out with the little ones.  My little buddy Isis was right on my side from the time I walked in until I left.  There were some new kids at the daycare today that I got to meet.  One was a little baby Josiah who was so tired this morning he fell asleep in my arms and just snuggled me (which is hard when it feels like 118 with heat index).  Jaylan came in with antibiotics and his mom was asking me all kinds of medical questions (you can never escape it).

In the morning I decided to bring out my snacks that I had packed for the kids.  Out of 26 of them, only one said thank you.  Not that I need a thank you, but its sad to see they are not taught respect.  Since I have been here, I have seen a difference in some of them.  When they go to hit one another and I am around I will grab their hand, move them away from the situation and they have to make one circle around the center of the complex and come back and say sorry.  If they say a mean thing to someone they have to then come up with 3 positives to say.  Their typical punishment is to write sentences if they do something wrong.  That really doesn’t teach them much in my opinion.  Half the time they don’t do them and don’t get in trouble anyways.  If you make them practice something, it will become routine eventually

It is interesting that for 40+ kids they only have two caregivers working at any given time.

This afternoon I spent some time with a Latino girl.  After talking about some things Guatemala got brought up and she informed me that she used to live at the state orphanage but her dorm set fire and they closed the orphanage down.  She was let loose and when trying to find her way ended up crossing the border into Belize by hiding in a truck to try and get to a bus station.  How ironic that she has that involvement with Guatemala that I even did.  We spent 3 hours talking with one another.

Tomorrow I head to do some cave kayaking and zip lining.  I am very excited for this!  

Day 6. Anxiety at its worst.

Day 6.

Today was a struggle from the start.  I didn’t sleep but maybe 2 hours last night.  I was worried about coming back, about the rest of the time here, I just felt sick.  Probably didn’t help that after the sunset cruise yesterday on my way back from trying to check out the pizza place to say hello to my coworkers friend a guy grabbed me by the arm because I refused to buy special brownies or white powder which I assumed was cocaine.  I aggressively looked him in the eye and told him I would slice his balls off and scream louder than a 2 year old who was told no, if he didn’t let me go.  Needless to say I hurried back to my room.  That’s when I took some extra benedryl and tried to knock myself out for the night and it did the rebound effect.

When I finally broke down enough to call Delta this morning, they were able to switch my flight to Thursday (because I really want to cave kayak and go ziplining that I have planned Wednesday). 

I ran to catch the water ferry back and man was it a rough ride.  The boat was rocking so bad that I thought we were going to be shark bait.  We did see a few dolphins and some sharks on the way in. 

The cab driver that took me to the bus station was super nice but his car was so janky I didn’t think we would make it, not to mention people don’t follow driving rules here and we almost got into numerous accidents.  Finally got on the bus, and some woman had to throw my luggage off the seat as it was next to me, onto my lap so she could sit in the front seat next to me even though there were 50 some open seats on the bus.  At this point I am covered in sweat from anxiety and heat and just wanted to get home and it seemed like we stopped every mile.  People here cannot walk distances.  The bus will stop and less than a block later have to stop again for someone to get off. 

The walk back to Liberty was hot…..it was over 100 degrees and I had on long sleeves to combat the sand flies.  Had to stop multiple times to drink water.  A 15 min walk took me 45 min to complete, that’s when I know I am at my limits.  I got back and the younger volunteer (hes about 16 and here by himself, I think because his parents forced him as he only spends about 10 min a day with the kids and is even on his phone then not talking to them) had the door locked (hes living downstairs and me upstairs).  I wanted to cry because all I wanted was to shower and lay down, but I took my stuff in the office and went and played with the babies in the daycare.  They all know me by name now and get so excited when I come in. 

Finally, I went out with the other kids and spent some time with some of the pleasant girls.  We had a lot of good conversations and I even got to sit with them for lunch since the high schoolers’ are gone and there’s room for me with the kids at lunch time. 

After lunch we went into one of their domes and watched pee wee herman and they were amazed that I knew the dance.  It made them all think I was crazy but then I got them to join in. 

I sat with one girl named Keisha and let her use my good colored pencils and coloring book and we colored a picture together and talked about her future and dreams.  It was such a wonderful afternoon. 

I then went to the daycare to get out of the sun and spent time with my favorite girl.  I never laughed so hard when we were playing with dollys and she took the doll and put it up to my breast and says, “feed my baby.”  To which I had to explain if you don’t have a baby at home you don’t have milk in your boobies.  She didn’t get it, of course, shes only 3.  She wanted to play with my hair so I let her and she twisted it so much into a knot we had to get scissors out to cut a chunk out….to the hair salon I go when I get home. 

After dinner I went and got a milkshake at the deli up the street because I was starving  (yesterday all I had was gelato and chips and salsa and then tonight we had half a hot dog and a tortilla.  I feel so bad for these kids who have no clue what other foods are.  WE are so blessed in America to have such a variety of foods.

3 more days till I come home!

Day 5.  Another day in Paradise.

9 full hours of sleep!  Well I went to bed at like 830 and woke up at midnight itchy so I had to cover my body in stuff and then fell back asleep after that until 730 this morning!  It feels so good to actually get more than an hour of sleep at a time.  It also feels amazing to walk out on the balcony and just lay in the hammock and read in the morning too!

I was lazy today, I’ll admit it.  I layed around in bed and in the room until 930 working on homework.  It is so much easier to do homework when bugs aren’t eating on you.  I walked on down the pier and watched the ocean for awile and then to the gift shop and made some purchases and then it was so hot I came back to the room.

I relaxed and listened to music, finished a book, and just had quiet time.

Around lunch time I went out and got some gelato (delish) and some chips and salsa.  It was so great to eat fresh vegetables.  I haven’t had them in 4 days and I was beginning to go crazy!  Fingers crossed I don’t get sick because you’re not supposed to eat fresh fruit or veggies in a 3^rd world country, only cooked ones. 

Then I took a 2 hour nap and went out to the pier and finished my book while getting some Vitamin D.

I walked down to see if anyone signed up for the sunset cruise and sure enough a couple from Holland did so we were able to go out.  My mom told me to make sure I come back because she has seen the boats in Belize and I was like oh no big deal.  We were in some dingy boat that could have easily tipped and we had no life jackets.  Once we started going we were wondering why the guy driving was so close to the mangroves and he informed us we were crocodile hunting and showed us his harpoon.  (I was sweating at this point, Ive watched swamp people a few times before).  Then we went to an area and shark hunted (these were nurse sharks which were pretty cool) and lion fish. 

The sunset was beautiful, the rum punch tasted great, and the chips an salsa again were to die for. 

I really am going to miss this place when I have to leave in the morning.  It is so laid back and slow.  However, after dark I do not feel as safe because there are a lot of men higher than a kite on the main strip trying to get you to eat their special brownies or take pictures with them so they can rob your back pockets.  Im thankful to have a smart head on my shoulders and just come in when it gets dark.  Im not a party goer anyways.

5 down, 8 to go!