Monday, August 28, 2017

Day 6. Anxiety at its worst.

Day 6.

Today was a struggle from the start.  I didn’t sleep but maybe 2 hours last night.  I was worried about coming back, about the rest of the time here, I just felt sick.  Probably didn’t help that after the sunset cruise yesterday on my way back from trying to check out the pizza place to say hello to my coworkers friend a guy grabbed me by the arm because I refused to buy special brownies or white powder which I assumed was cocaine.  I aggressively looked him in the eye and told him I would slice his balls off and scream louder than a 2 year old who was told no, if he didn’t let me go.  Needless to say I hurried back to my room.  That’s when I took some extra benedryl and tried to knock myself out for the night and it did the rebound effect.

When I finally broke down enough to call Delta this morning, they were able to switch my flight to Thursday (because I really want to cave kayak and go ziplining that I have planned Wednesday). 

I ran to catch the water ferry back and man was it a rough ride.  The boat was rocking so bad that I thought we were going to be shark bait.  We did see a few dolphins and some sharks on the way in. 

The cab driver that took me to the bus station was super nice but his car was so janky I didn’t think we would make it, not to mention people don’t follow driving rules here and we almost got into numerous accidents.  Finally got on the bus, and some woman had to throw my luggage off the seat as it was next to me, onto my lap so she could sit in the front seat next to me even though there were 50 some open seats on the bus.  At this point I am covered in sweat from anxiety and heat and just wanted to get home and it seemed like we stopped every mile.  People here cannot walk distances.  The bus will stop and less than a block later have to stop again for someone to get off. 

The walk back to Liberty was hot…..it was over 100 degrees and I had on long sleeves to combat the sand flies.  Had to stop multiple times to drink water.  A 15 min walk took me 45 min to complete, that’s when I know I am at my limits.  I got back and the younger volunteer (hes about 16 and here by himself, I think because his parents forced him as he only spends about 10 min a day with the kids and is even on his phone then not talking to them) had the door locked (hes living downstairs and me upstairs).  I wanted to cry because all I wanted was to shower and lay down, but I took my stuff in the office and went and played with the babies in the daycare.  They all know me by name now and get so excited when I come in. 

Finally, I went out with the other kids and spent some time with some of the pleasant girls.  We had a lot of good conversations and I even got to sit with them for lunch since the high schoolers’ are gone and there’s room for me with the kids at lunch time. 

After lunch we went into one of their domes and watched pee wee herman and they were amazed that I knew the dance.  It made them all think I was crazy but then I got them to join in. 

I sat with one girl named Keisha and let her use my good colored pencils and coloring book and we colored a picture together and talked about her future and dreams.  It was such a wonderful afternoon. 

I then went to the daycare to get out of the sun and spent time with my favorite girl.  I never laughed so hard when we were playing with dollys and she took the doll and put it up to my breast and says, “feed my baby.”  To which I had to explain if you don’t have a baby at home you don’t have milk in your boobies.  She didn’t get it, of course, shes only 3.  She wanted to play with my hair so I let her and she twisted it so much into a knot we had to get scissors out to cut a chunk out….to the hair salon I go when I get home. 

After dinner I went and got a milkshake at the deli up the street because I was starving  (yesterday all I had was gelato and chips and salsa and then tonight we had half a hot dog and a tortilla.  I feel so bad for these kids who have no clue what other foods are.  WE are so blessed in America to have such a variety of foods.


3 more days till I come home!

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